Sweetie! Darling! I miss AbFab.

 

I really really miss the many mis-adventures of the forever bombed best friends, Patsy and Eddy.  I was such a fan while I was at university in the early ’90s that I actually planned my second year classes to all start at 11am so I could have my morning coffee watching Absolutely Fabulous on the A&E Channel.  Seriously.

 

The main cast (without Mother): Eddy, Saffy, Bubble & Patsy

 

Anyway, I recently read that this Fall, there will be a US version of AbFab executive produced by Jennifer Saunders (Eddy and AbFab’s creator) and overseen by the producer of Arrested Development (which I also loved).  Kristen Johnson of 3rd Rock from the Sun will play Patsy while an actress named Kathryn Hahn will play Eddy.  Despite the seemingly solid cast and production crew, I still wonder why there was a need to America-fy this classically neurotic, dysfunctional yet loveable British series.  I wish they could just show the original episodes in syndication. 

 

American Pats & Eddy : (

 

Oh well…  I’ll just have to comfort myself with my two videos purchased long ago.  Despite it being almost 20 years since the first season, this show is still timelessly hilarious.  I miss Patsy (played by Joanna Lumley), Eddy, Saffy, Bubble and Edwina’s Mother.  I’m chanting as we speak…

 

Classic wine-tasting episode:

Donor Look-a-likes

From guest blogger Vern of http://my-stuff-and-stuff.blogspot.com/:

 

This is one of the strangest things yet.  Now, the California Cryobank (CCB) allows you to choose a sperm donor chosen by the best of their subjective abilities to be celebrity look-a-likes. They have hundreds of actors, musicians and athletes to choose from with links to pictures of celebrities in case you’re not sure what they look like. (So if you just want to pick some random celebrity for your kid to look like?!) Some famous names include Van Halen, Yao Ming, Adam Sandler, BJ Penn, Balthazar Getty, Antonio Banderas, Cedric the Entertainer and Christian Bale.

I did a search for Prince William (handsome young lad) and this is how his profile reads: 

 

Ambitious and Adventurous

“At 6’3”, 203 lbs, Donor 11194 towers over the competition. He’s also a charmer with blue eyes, blond hair, and a friendly smile on a handsome face. He plans to express his creativity through acting and directing professionally, and hopes to become a catalyst for positive change in the world. The son of an English/Hungarian mother and a German/Dutch father, he’s a gentleman in the Old World sense, placing a high value on honesty and honor.”

His vial costs $490. Oh, and this donor also resembles Rick Shroder – yikes.

Devilishly Divine Joan Crawford

“If I can’t be me, I don’t want to be anybody.”

 

Despite what Christina Crawford wrote in “Mommie Dearest”, how can you not love (or love to hate) Joan Crawford?  Now she was a total Hollywood diva.  After all the stories about her cattiness and nose in the air attidude, the wonderful thing is that she could back up all the airs with top-rate acting and screen presence.  From Grand Hotel to her later B-movie attempts, the camera adored her.  She even stood out as the hateful Crystal in the original (1939)The Women (one of my favorite movies).  And considering she was in that movie with greats like Rosalind Russel, Norma Shearer and Paulette Goddard, that’s saying a lot.  Here are more delicious quotable quotes from Christina’s Mommie (I didn’t include “No wire hangers!”):

“I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the dollar. Everything I earn, I spend.”

“Helga, I’m not mad at you.  I’m mad at the dirt.” (to her maid)

“If you want my opinion, far too many actresses today are little more than tramps and tarts.”

“We’re paid to turn shit into gold.” (on Hollywood)

“Women’s Lib?  Poor little things.  They always look so unhappy.  Have you noticed how bitter their faces are?”

 

Ok, so maybe she really was a scary mom...

 

But bitch-ay or not, you just gotta love her.  Unless you’re another Diva like Bette Davis (looove her) who reportedly couldn’t stand dearest Joan, and the feeling was mutual.  In several Bette biographies, there are just loads of gems about their ‘little’ feud…

 When asked why she avoided Joan at Hollywood functions, Bette stated:

“You hang around that woman long enough and you’ll pick up all kinds of useless shit.”

Love is in the air...

Sigh, these Divas, gotta love them.

Classic Joan photographed by Hollywood photog, Yousuf Karsh

The KISS family

After years of planning, we may finally go the KISS route this Halloween –

My husband can now look exactly like Gene because the ‘authentic’ Gene Simmons’ Demon outfit is now available to all… for USD 500!  Gene, gene, gene – such a businessman…

In our plans, my daughter is supposed to be Paul/Starchild (since no one else wants to be) but dressing up as mini-Gene is too adorable to pass up…

Or, she could come in the too CUTE Toddler Ace Frehley/Spaceman costume:

Hmm…even kids who dress like Paul Stanley/Starchild can’t help acting a little cheeseball:

I’ll obviously be Peter Criss/Catman, but I refuse to dress up in this creepy adult version (with thigh cut-outs)…

Whether we do this Halloween 2009 or not, we take comfort in knowing that EVERY family can now be a KISS family… “You wanted the best, You got the best!”  Woo hoo!

Goodbye John Hughes

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

- Ferris Bueller from Ferris Bueller’s Day off

 

John Hughes, writer-director of ’80s classics like Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off died at the age of 59 on Thursday, August 6th.  There have been a lot of unexpected and sad deaths of famous people this year, but John Hughes was different in that he wasn’t a global superstar like Michael Jackson, but his death made me feel like I’ve lost a cool friend from my youth.  Hughes’ films may have seemed like silly teenage comedies to some, but I feel that they were actually smart and accurate representations of my generation.   If you belong to Generation X (hello Douglas Coupland), you can joyously quote a line from at least one John Hughes film. 

So today as a tribute to the man… It’s an 80s Hughes flashback! 

Sixteen Candles – my first favorite ‘teen’ film. 

 

It's Long Duk Dong!

Sigh, the final scene with Samantha and Jake… and the cake 

 

 

Some Kind of Wonderful

 

The Breakfast Club

 

Pretty In Pink

 

Weird Science

 

It's Chet! Hilariously played by Bill Paxton

 

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

 

So to you, John Hughes, thanks for the memories…

“I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek…”

- Samantha Baker from Sixteen Candles

Vintage ads by mad men

I wonder how I could have possibly suspected that the following ads were conceptualized, written and produced by a bunch of men in a 1960s HBO’s Mad Men-style office:

 

Every man dreams of being married to a peppy wife…

"I worked hard procuring arsenic for your coffee, dear"

 

Cute “men are better than women” ad…

Taken a few seconds before Angela stabbed both men with the climbing pick...

 

The just-about-to-be-divorced man’s guide to buying presents for the wife…

I think this ad made me grit my teeth down to stumps...

 

Great Hannibal Lecter type imagery for an ad selling synthetic pants…

Linda bided her time, waiting for the perfect moment to throw a match down Bob's dapper yet highly flammable DACRON pants...

 

Adorable ad about female drivers…

"Officer, I'm so dumb that I mistook my husband for a speed bump and ran right over him"

Dating Yourself – The Typewriter

I saw this vintage ad the other day and I unexpectedly got a little thrill.  Seeing this simple typewriter made me remember the day my parents gave me my dad’s old portable typewriter to keep as my very own.   I was 9 years old and it’s funny but at that age, getting my own typewriter made me feel like a teenager borrowing the car for the first time.  And then I realized… most kids today probably have NO idea what this contraption is.  They will never know the sound of a typewriter in action, or how important liquid paper or correcting tape used to be, or how one used to crumple up sheets and sheets of paper because we couldn’t edit before ‘printing’.  Talk about dating myself! 

 

 Remember Mr. Nooni-nooni-noo from Sesame Street?  My kids were watching snippets from our ‘Old School Sesame Street’ DVD and my 7 year old son asked me, “Mom, is that a big old telephone on wheels?”   Me:  “No, that’s a typewriter.”  My son:  “A what?”   Eep.

My kids do not know what this is : (

 

So I guess anyone who remembers the typewriter can now be relegated to that category we used to place our parents and their “I remember when coca-cola used to cost 20 centavos…” stories.  Sigh.  Oh well, viva vintage and all that.  Let’s celebrate the typewriter!

 

Here’s a cute vintage ad (1954) for the perfect portable typewriter for students…

Gals & guys, from nerds to hep cats, could even match their typewriters.

 

IBM was always on the cutting edge…

When laptops were still a pipe dream...

 

Clunky yet cute and pink — what every young girl would have loved…

Barbie's typewriter

 

Guide to proper typewriting posture (still applicable today)…

Listen to Stella Pajunas, people!

 

Guide to improper posture (still applicable today)…

Well... I could see how this would hurt