When you ask a Vegetarian which food item they were hard-pressed to give up, the anwer is usually… Bacon. There are a few things in this world that can affect humans as much as the smell of sizzling… Bacon. Maybe Calvin Klein should create ‘CK Bacon’ and unleash the feral side of any meat-eating woman on the unsuspecting cologne-wearer. Anyway, I’m apparently not the only person who has a weakness for these strips of pork belly. There are hundreds of Bacon tribute sites and fan pages online. Predictably, a lot of strange bacon-related items have been cropping up. So here’s how I picture a day in the life of a bacon-obsessed person…
Have a morning shower with a nice juicy bar of Bacon Soap
Sit down to breakfast with a morning-brightening Bacon Placemat
Mmm, is that coffee or bacon? Brew a sizzling cup of Maple Bacon Morning coffee
Slap on that snazzy Bacon Suit that drives women (and hungry dogs) wild
If it’s cold, make like a bacon-wrapped weenie dog with the cozy Bacon Scarf
Don’t forget your Bacon Briefcase!
… And your Bacon Lunchbox!
… And your Bacon Wallet!
Make sure all your files are in your trusty Bacon USB Flash Drive
Get into your delicious-smelling car care of your Bacon Air Freshener
At the end of the day, kick back with a bottle of Squeez Bacon…
Wash it all down with your favorite diet soda…
And don’t forget to floss for that extra clean feeling
Unwind and ponder the day with a Bacon Martini
Then sit back and welcome the heart attack.