Bad Food Photos = Great Entertainment

I know it’s strange but I love collecting really bad food photos.  Whether a result of a truly bad recipe, bad food styling or better yet, BOTH,  I’m amazed that ad people back then allowed this stuff to make it to print.  Knowing that it’s almost a science now with Food Testers, Stylists and Photographers being paid top dollar for magazine features and ads, it’s nice to know that once upon a time, people really just didn’t care…

Anything with ‘aspic’ should usually raise red flags

Mmmm!

 

It’s like raw meat surrounded by little bunches o’ brains

 

Having mastered Peas, Del Monte then offers up this tempting creamed Corn concoction

 

It’s amazing how creepy spaghetti can look in the wrong hands

 

I love the tagline, “Some things can be copied and some things can’t.”  Well, thank God for that!

Run, kids! Mom's made the Haystack!

 

The Frankfurter-Kraut Crown — the perfect holiday centerpiece!

 

A very rare way of serving “Pork with Spaghetti” or as I call it, “Hairy Pork” : P

 

Saved the BEST for last! 

Lime Walnut Salad — lime gelatin, celery, pimiento, pineapple and cottage cheese.  Truly. Award. Winning.

A lesser-known Weapon of Mass Destruction

 

Stay tuned for Part 2 someday soon… I have a huge collection : O

Mmmm… Bacon

Not this Bacon...

THIS bacon... Mmmm!

 

When you ask a Vegetarian which food item they were hard-pressed to give up, the anwer is usually… Bacon.  There are a few things in this world that can affect humans as much as the smell of sizzling… Bacon.  Maybe Calvin Klein should create ‘CK Bacon’ and unleash the feral side of any meat-eating woman on the unsuspecting cologne-wearer.  Anyway, I’m apparently not the only person who has a weakness for these strips of pork belly.  There are hundreds of Bacon tribute sites and fan pages online.  Predictably, a lot of strange bacon-related items have been cropping up.  So here’s how I picture a day in the life of a bacon-obsessed person…

 

Have a morning shower with a nice juicy bar of Bacon Soap

 

 

Sit down to breakfast with a morning-brightening Bacon Placemat

 

 

Mmm, is that coffee or bacon?  Brew a sizzling cup of Maple Bacon Morning coffee

 

 

Slap on that snazzy Bacon Suit that drives women (and hungry dogs) wild

 

 

If it’s cold, make like a bacon-wrapped weenie dog with the cozy Bacon Scarf

 

 

Don’t forget your Bacon Briefcase!

 

 

… And your Bacon Lunchbox!

 

 … And your Bacon Wallet!

 

 

Make sure all your files are in your trusty Bacon USB Flash Drive

 

 Get into your delicious-smelling car care of your Bacon Air Freshener

 

 

At the end of the day, kick back with a bottle of Squeez Bacon…

>yikes<

 

 

Wash it all down with your favorite diet soda…

 

 

And don’t forget to floss for that extra clean feeling 

 

 

Unwind and ponder the day with a Bacon Martini

 

Then sit back and welcome the heart attack.

Donor Look-a-likes

From guest blogger Vern of http://my-stuff-and-stuff.blogspot.com/:

 

This is one of the strangest things yet.  Now, the California Cryobank (CCB) allows you to choose a sperm donor chosen by the best of their subjective abilities to be celebrity look-a-likes. They have hundreds of actors, musicians and athletes to choose from with links to pictures of celebrities in case you’re not sure what they look like. (So if you just want to pick some random celebrity for your kid to look like?!) Some famous names include Van Halen, Yao Ming, Adam Sandler, BJ Penn, Balthazar Getty, Antonio Banderas, Cedric the Entertainer and Christian Bale.

I did a search for Prince William (handsome young lad) and this is how his profile reads: 

 

Ambitious and Adventurous

“At 6’3”, 203 lbs, Donor 11194 towers over the competition. He’s also a charmer with blue eyes, blond hair, and a friendly smile on a handsome face. He plans to express his creativity through acting and directing professionally, and hopes to become a catalyst for positive change in the world. The son of an English/Hungarian mother and a German/Dutch father, he’s a gentleman in the Old World sense, placing a high value on honesty and honor.”

His vial costs $490. Oh, and this donor also resembles Rick Shroder – yikes.

Vintage ads by mad men

I wonder how I could have possibly suspected that the following ads were conceptualized, written and produced by a bunch of men in a 1960s HBO’s Mad Men-style office:

 

Every man dreams of being married to a peppy wife…

"I worked hard procuring arsenic for your coffee, dear"

 

Cute “men are better than women” ad…

Taken a few seconds before Angela stabbed both men with the climbing pick...

 

The just-about-to-be-divorced man’s guide to buying presents for the wife…

I think this ad made me grit my teeth down to stumps...

 

Great Hannibal Lecter type imagery for an ad selling synthetic pants…

Linda bided her time, waiting for the perfect moment to throw a match down Bob's dapper yet highly flammable DACRON pants...

 

Adorable ad about female drivers…

"Officer, I'm so dumb that I mistook my husband for a speed bump and ran right over him"

Paula Deen’s Krispy Kreme Burger

She’s done it again.  Just when I thought I was familiar with Southern domestic goddess Paula Deen’s  arsenal of deep-fried, bacon-wrapped, sugar-stuffed recipes, she manages to produce another eyebrow-raiser. 

Enjoy this video of her putting together a great sandwich.  Watching this sends a chill down my spine : O  ….

Then again, I’m really curious.  Is it just me? 

Looking super in the ’70s

I don’t know any other decade this past century that has had the most laughable fashions other than the 1970s.  Maybe it was something in the water back then, but everyone seemed to feel like they were at the forefront of some avant-garde style revolution.  Having lived through the ’70s as a small child, I never really realized anything was wrong… until I started seeing fashion photos from the decade, particularly the later disco-infused years.  These GREAT catalogue photos from Plaidstallions.com really showcase the best of the worst.  When I’m feeling down, I look at these and I smile : )  Git down, party people! 

 

The 1970s version of loungwear for sleazebags 

Tooth necklace is model's own

 

 

Man Mates: great pastel colors, pointy butterfly collars, bandana…simply irresistible!

"Hey baby, want to cruise in my Camaro?"

 

 

A “Big Yank” outfit for big & tall men who like butterflies

He'll pound anyone who says "cuute shirt!"

 

 

For creepy couples you don’t want to hang out with

"I don't know about you, but I'm feeling frisky in this navajo blanket"

 

 

More matchy fashions for creep-ola swingin’ couples who like to disco

"Oh yeah, wow... I can SEE the music!" (as acid starts kicking in...)

 

 

Creepy couples can have summer options too!

The flared pants, white star belt and white shoes are pushing it... but a matching halter top?! Dump him!

 

 

So you can match your pimp…

 

"Where's my money at?!"

 

 

 

What the really cool and sophisticated girls wore to the disco

Seriousy, there are no words to express my thoughts...

 

 

For the fashion-conscious ’70s boy… (who is today still in therapy)

"I hate you, mom."

Lip Augmentation is not good

I don’t know why wax lips are still in joke shops when there are now women who actually pay to achieve this bizarre ultra-plump-pouty look.  Maybe part of the fluid injected into your lips makes you instantly believe you look like Angelina Jolie.  Aside from Megan Fox (who can kind of pull it off), the rest of these women remind me of the freaky melting women from Soundgarden’s Black Hole Sun video.  Creepy!

I'm meltiiingg....

 

Why Brittany, Why?

 

There was NOTHING wrong with her to begin with

 

Olivia Newton-John’s daughter, Chloe Lattanzi, felt she needed duck lips at 23

 

Dearest Donatella… no no nooo

 

The Philippines hasn’t been spared…

 

 

The one who can probably pull it off: Megan Fox Before & After

 

Great parting shot…  Donatella is now Janice the Muppet!

Fascinating Family Photos

My friend Rissa sent me a GREAT link last week.  I’ve been wanting to post these superb family photos for a while but my husband (aka my angel-wing wearing good conscience) says it’s not nice to poke fun at other people’s family snaps.  I see his point, but I also feel that these are too good to pass up sharing.  So, as a compromise, I’ll just post photos sans any comments from me.  Zip, zip it, zoo zoo.  I’m a  mime (with a blue pen ; ).  Enjoy…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WTF OMG CREEP-alert! Paging Child Services...

These ads are creepy

These kids look strange and so does the food they’re endorsing.  I guess there were no food stylists yet in the 1950s.  This ‘bad seed’ blonde girl looks like she’s eating a raw meat sandwich…  Scary!

Mmmm!

Enjoying worm-ghetti

Some ’70s kids things that weren’t so cool…

When I rely on memory, it was pretty cool growing up in the 70s.  I had all sorts of fun toys, the shows on TV were pretty good (even though we only had 5 channels).  But when I see photos like these, it makes me wonder…

Today’s kids’ beddings

 vs.

A 1974 touchy-feely kids’ bed that just takes your breath away

 

 

 

The latest toddler rocker from Netto Design

vs.

The 1970s slightly unsafe-looking PogoPony

 

 

Today’s KidKraft adorable kitchenette

vs.

A 1970s steel sink

 

 

Today’s example of an ad for Tween girls

vs.

A 1970s ad for Tween girls (and predators – creepy!)